January: “Fuck the Ducks. When does Baseball start?”

February: At least we have baseball.

March: At least we have baseball. Spring camp has some asking, “How does the football team look?” (hope slowly grows)…

April: Baseball hits full stride and eases the pain of football and basketball

May: Baseball is all that matters, fans talk about seeds, CWS, etc. Briefly enjoy a period of focusing on baseball/winning and forgetting football/basketball/ losing. This is the best month to be a Beaver fan. We feel like winners in May.

June: Baseball team loses. Championship dreams crushed. Focus turns to football.

July: Fall camp, hope overrules reality/probability. Fans believe the Beavs will have a magical season, etc etc.

August: Hopium continues through early and mid August, right up until the opening kickoff. With an annual slow start and/or loss to a DII team, reality sets in. Fans readjust expectations. Rose Bowl becomes a wild dream instead of a reality; Sun Bowl plants its seed in Beav heads.

September: Riley starts showing full blown warts; fans start getting really cranky. Apologists/trolls appear out of the woodwork.

October: Ducks in the National media, Beav fans take it on the chin another year. Wild rationalizations begin.

November: The football team has found their identity, and rarely is it good. Fans grieve and accept another year of the same ol’. Basketball starts and makes everything happening with football  even worse.

December: Beavs go to a lame, tier three, pre New Years Day bowl game. Riley gets an extension. Message boards light up with apologists who say things like “Riley has the 3rd most wins ever” yada yada. The real fans get another kick in the nuts season. They’re a year older with nothing but grey hairs to show for it all. Start to think about baseball.

Rinse. Repeat.

This is why, as I get older, I realize it’s all really fucking stupid and worthless. Better off spending your Saturday with people you love or doing things you love than rooting for these dimwit authority figures (admins, coaches, etc) who can’t even get the obvious right. But hey, May is just a few days away. Enjoy the best month to be a Beav fan, Beavlettes!