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Brennan Olander and the Five Finger Discount

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Something tells me Brennan Olander is a Jane’s Addiction fan, or at the least a fan of this song:

I’ve been caught stealing;
once when I was 5…
I enjoy stealing.
It’s just as simple as that.
Well, it’s just a simple fact.
When I want something,
I don’t want to pay for it.

I walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it’s mine.
Mine all mine!

Strike two, Brennan. Notice it says “when I was 5”, Brennan. Let me repeat, 5. Dude steals a golf cart from an athletic department 5 mil in the red, crashes it, and tacks on $300 more in damages. Good job, guy. Class act. The only thing worse than stealing a golf cart is stealing a gay sheep. Way to publicly embarrass your university. Way to learn your lesson from the debacle in Eugene. Oh, and way to shut up all the high-horse Beaver fans. Coy Francies, Ashton Jefferson, the other kid in Nevada, Kristick, Moevao, Oldander…a few felonies in there. I won’t even go back to the gay sheep incident. Oregon State is accumulating quite the rap sheet over the past five years.

No more can Beaver fans act high and mighty. Those days are gone. Nobody should have been taking that stance when James and Masoli were in shackles. You won’t see a single word in this blog with that sentiment. Why? Because it always comes around. Riley runs a tight, clean ship? Riley is in control of the program? Family atmosphere? Er…

All of it is Beaver-fan delusion, clinging to every puny positive until it’s ripped away from them by one of their own. Olander and his merry pranksters saw to that. In a way this is a blessing in disguise. I’ll sacrifice a DT so we don’t have to hear Beaver fan delusion anymore. That is a trade I’m willing to make. Oh, and if Olander isn’t kicked off the team Mike Riley is just as bad as ol’ herpe lip down south.

Ducks Fly North for Civil War Showdown

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I know I know, “Angry, who cares about the baseball team?”

The only reason I’m writing anything about this series is because it’s the Civil War, and that always has meaning. Also, during this absurdly long losing streak there came a time when I thought nothing would snap it except a series versus Oregon. Why?

Because this is human nature. When people feel down, in a rut, with little to live for, they tend to do things in day to day life to keep that cycle continuing. They’ll stay up late, sleep late, pull the blinds down and block out the sun. You know, depressing things. Until they’ve had enough and step outside. Usually, in the real world, at that point something good happens (like the depressed person finds a great job, a beautiful lady, etc) and his spirit is renewed. In the world of athletics, the options of what can bring a team out of a cyclical rut are much more limited. But a rivalry game is definitely one of them. The competitive spirit in these games is naturally high, and couple that with the Beavers dominance in the sport and you can understand their fear in passing the torch to the Ducks–they may never get it back.

Does all this apprehension and energy translate into wins?

I actually think it does. I think the Beavs take two of three in this series (*if* they win game 1), which won’t be enough to ignite post-season discussions, but it might be the spark that triggers an inferno down the stretch.

More Baseball Frustrations

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After 11-3 and 14-4 beatdowns by Cal, the Beavers are all but eliminated from tournament play. What has been lost in the ten game debacle is just how bad the pitching has been. Most of us have focused on the (lack of) offense. While it is true they could have scored more runs (an average of 3.3 runs per game over the last eleven games) it is also true that if the Beavers had “elite” pitching they’d win more than one game during that span, even with paltry run support. The bottom line is that one run is enough to win a game, so three is plenty. Look at the Stanford series. In game one the Beavers scored six runs, in game three they scored seven. Should an elite pitching staff win those games? I think so.

So let’s stop focusing on the offense. It is bad, but we knew it would be bad going into the year. Let’s place blame where it’s due during this losing streak.

At the beginning of the season, I thought the pitching staff would be “good”, not “great”, as Brooks Hatch and others in the media touted it. But let’s be brutally honest here. This staff is not even good. It’s at best average, and some might convincingly argue it is a flat out horrible (e.g. an 8.5 run per game average over the past 11 games) staff. Rob Folsom’s boneheaded brain cramp took the spotlight off the pitching staff and placed it squarely on the hitters, but the offense is performing (as ineptly) as we all expected.

As far as making the tournament, yesterday marked the end of that pipe dream. They had to win every series remaining starting with Cal. Their RPI is pretty high and keeping them lingering as the #30 team, but that’s not going to be enough to overcome such a horrendous conference record, and if momentum doesn’t stop soon, a losing record overall.

Beaver Fans Embarrass Yet Again

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I’m a Beaver fan, obviously, but I don’t like Beaver fans. Using Aristotelian logic, one might deduct I do not like myself. That is up for debate.

So today Rivals published an article about the most balanced offenses of the past decade. #1 was Oregon State. Curious, I then looked at comments from Beaver fans to see how they’d react to that. This is what I found:

1. “Great article outlining the nations most diversified offense throughout the past decade…you guessed it…Oregon State.”

2. “Best family environment in the nation, most diversified offense, and upper-tier defense. Decent facilities in a beautiful campus setting. What else can a top recruit ask for?”

3. “It is a great article and one that should be used in recruting offensive players. The Beavers showcase it all, great passers, great RB’s, and great WR’s. If I’m playing Offense and I want to play in a pro style offense, I’m taking a hard look at Oregon State.”

Something all three of these nitwits failed to ask, or conveniently turned a blind-eye to, is the methodology behind this study.

First off, the link can be found here:http://collegefootball.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1079485

As you can see this isn’t NASA level rocket science. When asked their methodology, the publishers confess, “we simply added the number of 1,000-yard rushers, 3,000-yard passers and 1,000-yard receivers.”

Er…

So their #1 school is actually Hawaii, a team with not a single 1,000 yard rusher the last decade, and their #3 team is Texas Tech, a team that also fielded zero 1,000 yard rusher since 2000. Again, let me reiterate, the #1 and #3 teams, using this methodology, had no 1,000 yard rusher in ten years, yet they are listed as two of the most balanced offenses in the nation.

Er…

And Oregon State fans are lapping this up and patting their backs. Begs the questions:

1. A result of orange-colored glasses?

2. Turning a blind eye to an obviously flawed methodology?

3. Other?

I know it can’t be #2, because if the Ducks were the top offense on this list Beaver fans would be sure to point out all the flaws in how the numbers came about, the least of which would be how they never have 1,000 yard receivers. So it’s gotta be #1. Again those pesky orange-colored glasses…

Beaver fans: can you stop giving the fanbase a reputation by being proud of meaningless, fourth-rate achievements that you’d ridicule if touted by another school? For starters, the “best family atmosphere” award, the CBI championship, and this article should be removed from your lexicon.

Latest AD Report

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In the new AD report, Bob D writes:

*If you would like to make a donation of less than $40, please call 541-737-2370 or mail a check to: Beaver Athletic Student Fund
123 Gill Coliseum
Corvallis, OR 97331

Thank you, Bob D, for hearing our anger and acting.

I’m going to send them a few dollars to help with their 12,000 (donors) by 2012 campaign. Since they’re now accepting smaller donations, I suggest everyone get involved and give what you can. A check for a dollar is still worth sending–if you get a thousand people who do the same it adds up.